Why me?

Why? Why does this type of thing only seem to happen to me? Well, me and people in sitcoms.

I’m having my annual physical for insurance at work. And my Doctor orders a ua. I get my little cup and wipey, head into the bathroom. 

Once there, I see a narrow toilet/seat. With my thighs…not going to be able to position my hand the normal way. So I squat/hover. And pee. I didn’t really have to go so I’m surprised by the amount of pee I actually got. I put the cup in the slot for Lab folks. Then I realize that the excess did not go into the toilet. I was back far enough for it to have gone in. 

Yup, you guessed it. (Can you stop getting ahead of me?!?!) the excess had gone down the back of my pants. Not just a few drops. I could have filled the cup all the way instead of half way.

So here I am, in a bathroom..at a clinic…washing the back of my pants in the sink. Lucky that it’s a one hole-er (as we say in my family). And they do have another bathroom, so I’m not making loads of people wait on me. 

But now I’m faced with another problem. How do I dry my pants? There is no hand dryer. Just paper towels. I think I used half the dispenser to at least get the excess water off my pants. It’s lucky that I’m closer to a side door than the main doors. I won’t have to walk out in front of everyone to leave.

But my question still stands. Why do these sitcom situations happen to me?!?!