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ofrobotsandduckies

It's about life and the things that happen. Nerd stuff.

So what gives?

Okay, so what gives on the clothing makers? I’m talking about the sizing. Or the weird produced sizing.

Now, I understand that from one clothing maker to another… sizes can vary. What one considers as a size 12 is different than another.

I have already read that they use people as a sizing guide.  Even though one person in that size is shaped differently than other. This can be a big reason to try stuff on before buying it.

What I don’t understand is why if you buy one item from a label, and buy another in the exact same size (just different color) by the same label, should there be any reason one color will fit lose/snug than the other one.

Yeah, I know… that sentence really went off the rails. But it almost makes sense. If you maybe squint one eye? Or turn your head? No? Hrmmmmm.. let me talk this out then.

I have long been wary of buying certain color shirts. This is because they are smaller than others. For example, white shirts are way smaller than say.. I blue shirt. And it’s the exactly same:

Size

Maker

Bought at the same time

So…. why??

I mean, if you can trust the Brand to be consistent within their own product, then why should I trust them to make a good, long lasting item?

And what prevents them from producing the sizing consistently for different colors? It should not be hard.. and yet.. I stay away from white shirts. Okay… I also must admit that I am an expert at spilling things down the front of me. I am so good that I have considered drawing lines around them with a Sharpie and trying to pretend that it’s a design.

“No, I know it looks like pasta sauce and chocolate smudges.. but that I what I believe the designer was going for!”

( : : crickets : : )

“It’s the new ‘Shabby-Chic’??”

( : : silence : : )

Okay.. well…. I will show myself out.. stage right.

But in closing… Hey designers??? Get your crap together! Label the smaller colors and Mini-Me size!

– The Head Duckie

 

What was my point again?

For anyone that knows me, they know I hate Valentine’s Day. Yes.. I am one of those sad-sack singles out there. But this is not why I hate Valentine’s day. (okay.. it’s part of the reason). My dislike of the day began back in Elementary school. Back then, you had to give a Valentine to everyone in your class. And this would include people who didn’t get along. So, in 3rd or 4th grade, I received a Valentine from a little girl who did not like me. I know this because she wrote “Happy Valentine’s Day, I hate you.” Thing never got any better from there.

Another reason is all the pink and red crap. Sheesh! It’s as if Pepto Bismal and Blood have been sprayed liberally around every place on the Planet! Enough!!! And all those hearts.. that’s not even the real shape of a heart! But I suppose no one would feel like eating candy if they used a realistic heart. Unless you’re a cannibal. Or.. a Zombie. Do Zombies like to eat hearts? If they did, they could be like “Eat your heart out Bob! Oh wait!.. I’m eating it instead! For real! Hahahahaha.. poor Bob!”

But I digress. Or was that the point I was making.. realistic looking hearts are gross and would make you spew your chocolate??

Wait.. hmmm… no..

Ah! I got it. So all those pink/red heart shapes out there…everywhere.. solid ones. Lacy ones…etc… It’s annoying. And they start making an appearance in shops, oh.. about a week or two before Christmas! It sucks! Hey people of the world!! Too many lacy hearts are depressing! And ugly!

With all that red and pink… visiting Aliens will think that we have been running around, savagely ripping out internal organs. And leaving blood and gore covering everything. Ooo, but now that I think of it… they won’t wanna mess with us! They will be flying along… stop in to see the ape planet. Then seeing all that red and pink.. fly away in terror! One Alien will say to the other “Holy crap, Blerb!! Did you see that horror show of a Planet down there?? What the hell happened with those ape people??”  And Blerb will say “I know, Cleep! Those ape people are bat-shit crazy! We need to go warn our peeps! We…are..outta here!”

And then Blerb and Cleep will hit the hyper-light drive pedals in complete fear!

So, maybe Valentine’s Day isn’t too bad. It will keep us from being invaded by Aliens!

Or was that Zombies!? Or both?! I need some chocolate and think this over.

So… was eating Chocolate my point? I don’t remember. But now I want Chocolate….

Why???

Okay, I know! It’s been a long time since I posted. I started one on NYE.. but I stopped to drink, watch fireworks, then watch a horror film. Sorry.. getting tipsy won out. Plus, I looked at the screen and thought “Whut r werds?”
I did want to pop in and ask Y’all to do me a favor. Please, please, please…. Do not walk around at night, in black clothes.

Seriously, what is wrong with these folks?! Do they have a death wish?! I don’t wish them ill nor am I trying to insult people. But c’mon on!!!!
You go out jogging/walking, to better yourself. To be healthy.. good on you! Well done! Go you! Buy please just have the kindness and good sense to wear light clothes! Put some reflectors on your clothes..carry a flashlight… something!!!
It’s not asking too much to stop making it easy for us drivers to run your ass over!

It just seems like self preservation would kick in and you’d want to be noticed for drivers to avoid you. Now, I know I am not much into exercise. If you ever saw me, you’d say I’m obviously not into any sort of movement. And that I have no place to make a comment. Now, I believe that it’s up to good ol’ Ma Nature in regards to your survival. But I do not have any wish to be arrested for involuntary man-slaughter! Please don’t create the situation that this would happen. I’m not built for prison life. #wimp #coward

In short, please just try to be seen out there. We all love Monty Python’s ‘How not to be seen.’ segment.. but that is not a good guide for night-time jogging. Just wear some ‘loud’ clothes and you will be safe enough. Well… at least from my driving..

– The Head Duckie

Hey Corporate America!

From working for Corporations for years, I have a solution here.

See, Companies have moved from employees getting offices to everyone sitting side by side in one big room. In fact, they do their best to cram as many people in. And I do understand the original thinking here. Bring people face to face. To encourage people to work together. To increase productivity.

However….what happens is that people get annoyed with each other. Bad feelings, anger, petty bickering. Things like this happen:

Smells: this can be for some who feel that there is no such thing as too much of their favorite scent. Still others feel that the first group should not marinate overnight in their perfume. Also, food smells can be offending too. In the office life, there are those who like to torment. And this means that if there is a smell you don’t like or makes you nauseous, they will do their best to surround you with it. And then laugh.

Sounds: some people need to be able to concentrate. While others will sing, dance, clap hands, snap their fingers, yell out to call attention to themselves. Even if you use headphones, you can hear these people over the headphones.  Others need interactions with people, they need to sing and dance around. It helps them focus.

With all this assault of sight, sounds and smells..it can actually slow productivity. 

People need a place to just go. To do what they have to do to focus and work.

What I’m really saying is…where’s my damn office?!?!

– The Head Ducky 

Wow!

Wow! Has it really been that long since I last posted?? Sheesh! Life does seem to get in the way at times.
It’s insane at what this year has brought. So much death and the political scene makes my head hurt. It has just really sucked hot lava rocks!
Well.. let’s dive into the weirdness called life:

The first and foremost thing that happened that stays on my mind every day is that my Mom died. She died on April 11th of this year. I knew that as she was older that one day she’d be gone. And with her health being on and off..iffy. It was a matter of time. But still, there is no way to prepare yourself. I some how thought that she’d out live us all. She had survived so much.
She lived through strokes, surgeries, a brain aneursym, etc.. it just seemed like she was too stubborn to leave us. Setting aside the sadness and the whole that now exists, there is so much anger within me. Not at her, but at the hospital. I think someone there majorly frakked up.
She went in with vomiting. That was on a Thursday. It moved from that to she had an infection. Then a major infection. Then she didn’t really know what was going on around her. She tried to remove the wires, and ivs. They upped her antibiotics. Next thing we were told that the infection was systemic. That with the emphezema, she only had about a 1/4th of one lung working. Then.. we had to let her go.
What pisses me off is that we did not know she had emphezema. The Doctor said she seems to have had it for a long while. However she had had her lungs/breathing checked many times over the years. Yet no one bothered to mention this??? No. Just… no. I want to know who missed this or didn’t think it was important enough to mention it.
My apologies.. I know this is a bummer of a subject. I will move on..

On a lighter note.. I got a cat! He is a rescue, 8 yrs old and named Fezzik. Yes.. he is named after the character from The Princess Bride. He is a big kitty, very sweet and freakishly strong! He can push open french doors and he stands on his hind legs and tried to turn door knobs!

Let’s see, what else can I bash in here on this post…

Oh yeah! I’m getting some new furniture! Two new sofas! It’s weird when they name furniture. And my new pieces are named after places in Scotland! I ordered the Inverness and the Aberdeen! I was going to get the Glasgow but it won’t fit in the space. So I went with the Inverness. I am not sure why this place has so many city named furniture. But I suppose it’s better to say you just want to snuggle on the Aberdeen than you want to snuggle on the Bob. That might give people the wrong idea about you! ( Person 1: “Hey, what are you going to do this weekend? Party?” Person 2: “Naaaaahh. I’m just gonna snuggle on the Steve and Netfix!” )

Wait.. just to mess with people I think I will re-name the sofas. To Steve and Joe.
(insert evil giggle)
This might be fun…

– The Head Ducky

What?? Twice in one month?!

Okay, for those who don’t know me… I hate Valentine’s Day. I mean really, really don’t like it. I used to have an anti-Valentine’s Day arm band. It started as a child, in elementary school. When everyone had to hand out Valentine’s Day cards to their classmates. One year, this little girl gave me one that said ‘I hate you’ on it. Things never got any better. In the years following there was a lot of unrequited feelings going on. Into adulthood,  any man I ever dated made sure they had dumped me before Christmas, my birthday and Valentine’s Day.  

So each year, I just can’t bear all those pink and red hearts that are Everywhere! It all just raises my bp, increases my anxiety and makes me all stabby. 

This day has been filled with leftover pizza, horror shows, and a shit ton of laundry. 

Screw you, Valentine’s Day!

Btw: if you were looking for a heartwarming ending that had me finding true love…you came to the wrong blog, my friend.

– The Head Duckie

Something different..

Okay, I am going to post something different here. This is the first time I have finished something like this and I have surprised myself in that. So, here I am…cup of coffee at the ready and the movie Serinity playing in the background:

She didn’t notice at first. She rarely looked out her windows. She’d only have to look out the window at the right time to have known. See, she didn’t leave the house. Why should she? In this day and age, you can have everything delivered. Groceries, medicines, alcohol. Something breaks, call a repair service technician. There are even services that allow for a Doctor consult over the internet. Why leave your home?

She and others like her have that inner voice. The one that tells you to stay in. Too many crowds out there. Parking is an endless amount of going round and round looking for a spot. Too dangerous to walk to and from the car. You could be mugged, beaten, assaulted. No..much safer to stay home. And you’ll never have to worry about being too hot, cold, wet, dry. Home, you never need to leave.

She might look out her windows once a week. Hard to see the changes. Less and less people out and about. Just a bit more trash out on the streets. ‘Now why hasn’t the home owners association done something about this yet!? I’ll have to send them an e-mail.’ she thought. In fact, you wouldn’t notice anything different…..until the utilities stopped working.

For those with agoraphobia, severe anxiety, depression..the kind that leaves you housebound, the sounds of the outside world would only increase the fear of leaving. Fear from the sounds of accidents, fires, groups pounding on a neighbor’s door. She also wouldn’t know not the let the sounds of her day to day life carry outside her walls. Would the sound of her washing machine or dish washer attract attention? Her bedroom and family room were interior, sounds of her TV streaming programs would not be heard. If this had been heard or if she had gone outside, she’d have known to be very frightened. That any device of hers could lead to her being discovered. She was only annoyed when the trash wasn’t picked up. She had a standing agreement with her neighbors. She would fill up her trash bin, open the garage door, roll it just outside. Then sometime after she had closed the garage door, they would roll it to the curb. But even being that close to going outside caused her to have to go lay down. It was too close to being ‘unsafe’.

When the electricity went out and the water turned off, that caught her attention, for others this would be an inconvenience. But she needed everything to work for her to survive. She didn’t have the luxury of inconvenience. She was momentarily caught off guard by this. She angrily picked up he phone to call customer service, only to find the phones didn’t work. She dialed on her cell phone, but no answer. Or a busy signal. But soon her cell didn’t work either. ‘What was happening?’ she thought. She dug around in the garage for her old radio/cassette player. Then it took her another 4 hours to find some batteries for it. “Wow, this is old school.” she smiled as she said this. She searched the stations on the radio for one broadcasting.  Mostly there was static, few sending out the Emergency broadcast signal. And that was just telling people to stay indoors. Well that wasn’t helpful, she was always indoors. Maybe there would be further updates later. It was time to go really old school. She lit some candles and grabbed a book. There were so many that had built up over months and it looks like now there was some time to get reading.

She didn’t use her MP3 player, she just felt she should save it for another time. She cooked and ate the meats, vegetables and fruits first. She had packed them in the freezer figuring they would last longer with the ice. She’d leave the canned and dry goods for later. After all, she didn’t know how long this ‘Emergency ‘ would go on. Agoraphobia is a funny thing. You spend such a large amount of time away from people. It allows you to become accustomed to solitude. With this, you never notice a loss of people around you. Especially a slow loss. ‘Inside life’ almost prepares you for a new different kind of life. While solitude and quiet makes most people jumpy and afraid, people with a mental illness are more accustomed to it. Sometimes a chat with one or two people is okay. But large groups…terror!

After about a week and half, she used her MP3 player. But it stopped working when the charge ran out. Before her cell stopped, she tried to call to have groceries delivered. But the phone died while listening to a recording saying all the lines are down. So, without her delivery, she would run out of food very quickly. Even rationing would not last her long. She felt a growing sense of dread and nausea just thinking about having to leave the house for food. This brought on one of her panic attacks. As she laid down, her chest tightened, her breathing became rapid and her heartbeat increased. Deep down she knew that soon she would not have a choice. She would have to go look for food and water. If anything, she would finally find out what was going on. That day came all too soon.

When that day came, she opened her front door and just stood there trying to prepare herself to cross the threshold. ‘Deep breaths..’ she thought. She closed her eyes trying to build up the courage to walk out the door. One foot in front of the other is how she shakily walked out, down the steps and out to the front yard. She stopped for a moment as she got dizzy. The world around her swam in and out of focus. She squated, tucking her head down for a moment. Forcing her vision to clear..to focus. She stood up, taking a look around her. The neighborhood was so quiet. So deserted. But it was during the day so people were probably just at work, the kids at school. Still.. no dogs barking, no birds singing…nothing. Quiet is nice, but this was disturbing. She walked slowly to the sidewalk. She looked to the right. “Jesus!” she exclaimed. About two houses down,  in the middle of the street, there were cars smashed together. Another had been driven into one of the houses. ‘What the hell…’ she thought. What ever it was that caused this must have happened some time ago. No smoke from the cars but they looked burned. Also no people milling about. Where were the cops? It’s like it happened and everyone instantly vanished. Why didn’t a tow truck or truck with a flatbed come and haul away the wreckage? This was by far the strangest thing since all this started. Now, with more fear and panic, she turned to look to the opposite direction. Not knowing what would be there. And….nothing. At first. Then she saw old Mrs. Tinsley shuffling down the road about 4 houses down. Geez, the Woman never walked that well to begin with, but now she really seems to be having issues. ‘Maybe she was injured in that car accident. Yeah, and no one took her to the hospital!? Sure, that happens!’ She starts walking after her, thinking ‘maybe I can help, not sure what I can do for Mrs. Tinsley, but I can’t just leave her there alone.’ She quickens her pace to catch up to Mrs. Tinsley. She calls out “Mrs. Tinsley? Are you okay? Do you need some help?” The old lady stops and stands there for a moment. ‘I think I confused her. Poor thing.’ That was when Mrs. Tinsley turned towards her. “Oh God! Oh Jesus! What happened to you?” she screamed. There were deep gashes, blood and bone sticking out from her face. And Mrs. Tinsley’s skin was mottled in color, hanging off in places. But it made no sense, how was still moving if she was rotting? She skidded to a halt steps away from the old lady thing. She backward ran away as the old lady gnash her teeth and reached out for her. When she turned to run forward, she still had her head around to look over her shoulder. Looking at that nightmare old woman staggering towards her. She got about half a block when it happened. She was so focused on getting away from Mrs. Tinsley, that she never saw the others. So she ran right into a crowd of about 10 of them. They had heard her scream and came to the street towards the sound. When she collided with a couple of them, they tumbled to the ground. She was surrounded and it only took a couple of ticks of a clock for her to realize it. She managed to get to her feet, screaming as they grabbed at her. Trying to hold her, trying to bite her. Her mind was reeling as she struggled to break free. She was almost free of them when one of them grabbed her harder than she thought possible. It jerked her back to them, she then heard screams that she didn’t think could have come out of them. She was right. It was her screams as they ate her.

Society today is almost geared for those with anxiety, fear and agoraphobia. But will they be better able to cope with an apocalypse or will they be least able to survive?

-THD

Please disregard any typos, grammatical errors. It’s 2 am.

Too long..

Okay, it has been far too long since I’ve posted. I won’t make excuses because of..reasons. So here are some observations from the past few months:

October: Usually Halloween is one of my favorite times. I decorated, planned out what would go where. My usual night is me in the driveway passing out candy. And boy am I in my element! I love to react to the costumes the kids are wearing. Complimenting older ones on something they have on, and talking to the little ones about liking the same superhero.

This year though, I was sick. This was only the second time in about 10 yrs that I was not out there. 

November: Once I got off work the day before Thanksgiving, I headed to my Parents house. I walked in that night and my Mom had the stomach flu. So, it was an unconventional Turkey day. The rest of the family never came over, so eating was my Dad and me. 

December: Before going into Christmas days activities, please allow me to go on a rant here:

When giving gifts, please to follow these guidelines: 

1) give the person something they will like. 

Too often I’ve been given things that the giver wanted. Instead of just buying it for themselves, they give it to someone else. And unless these two people have the exact same taste in everything, the gift will be something they can’t use.

2) While interacting with people though out the year, find out what family and friends like.

3) find out if they already have the item you’re planning on buying. It can be awkward if a person ends up with multiples of the same thing.

4) on all of the above: No matter what you receive, be thankful and gracious. Find a way to use an item you were given. Even if it’s not the way the giver would have thought of.

Okay, all that aside my Christmas Day was really fun. Up late for gift exchanges with the Parents. Later my Sister and her family come over. We exchanged more gifts and ate. Then we played Card Against Humanity. It was my first time playing even though I had the deck for quite some time with out opening it.

This was a highlight!! My Sister would start laughing before even the black card was read out. She kept coughing because she was laughing so hard! And I learned that the rest of my family is as warped and twisted as I am!

I will need the expansion packs!

So this brings me to now. I’ve gone from blonde to hair that is the color of toaster cinnamon. I can only hope to make more changes this next year. Join me, let’s sculpt a new, creative life next year. We can meet back here December 26th and compare notes!

– The Head Duckie

What…is…happening..

While at work, last Friday.. I was vigorously chewing gum. When in my rapid chewing, I bit the end of my tongue. I actually drew a bit of blood. All weekend my tongue hurt. I get back to work on Monday and was again really chopping on gum. I yawned and for the first time in my life, my gum fell out of my mouth and on to my keyboard.

What is happening? Is it some weird gum ninja or gum-demon out to exact revenge on me? And for what?? Chewing too rapidly?

I swear.. I am an adult. I can be trusted ..okay maybe not with gum.

I had, some months ago, gone in for a sleep study. And all the while I’ve been hoping and praying that I don’t have apnea. Of all the things that it could cause me to not sleep well, I really just did not want this to be apnea.

Well I go to get my results and guess what? Moderate Sleep Apnea. I actually cried as I drove away from the Doctor’s office. Not only does it mean I have to wear a mask-thing (Ooooooo …sexy!) but I have something else that I can potentially knock over or get tangled up in. (I am just talented that way!)

When the Doctor was giving me the diagnoses, he stumbled and babbled on. He kept saying about how it was really common. How people who get the most from the treatment are those who use the machine. And those who don’t, will just continue to have issues. He said “You can lead a horse to water….” and gestures at me. Does that mean he just called me a horse???? Finally he looked at me and said “Honestly.. you are not giving me anything here. Just blank stares.” I explained to him that I didn’t want it to be apnea and was just sad that it was. He then said “Well you don’t have the most dangerous type. And it’s not cancer..you won’t die from this!”

Doctors.. can’t legally slap them.. can’t… legally slap them.

– The Head Duckie

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