Friends.. I know it seemed that I had abandoned you. But I have not. Last year.. sucked! Sorry. It just did.
Let’s turn to the topic of today. Why does salad in a bag turn so quickly? Remember that one episode of Black Mirror where produce goes bad almost the moment you get it home and you aren’t allowed to grow your own?
Well.. I am starting to suspect that Farmers have found a way to make produce go bad a lot quicker. I my salad pre-made in those bags. I get it home and think I can eat on this for the new several days. However, 2 days later.. it’s already starting to turn.
So how does this work?? Do the farming association have nano-bots in the food with an internal clock that automatically knows go bad after 48 hours?
Is this some sort of attack by plants in revenge for cutting them down? Are they trying to poison us by turning brown and rancid? How will they attack next? Will they come together and form a creature like in the original The Thing from Another World? Will we have to resort to self-defense by electrocuting all of our celery to prevent it from stalking us??
Is it a Government conspiracy to keep us hungry and pliable?
Or is it the same old arch-enemy…. Aliens?
Leave me a comment and let me know.
The Head Duckie.